you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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