How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
