Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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