so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
