Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
