She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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