i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
