it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
