so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the day after is always just damage control
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
