i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
