Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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