By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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