neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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