I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
