I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Randomize
