Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i don't like sucking hair
just tell him i said nine months
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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