Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
