you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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