I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
