it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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