she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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