Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize