Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize