how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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