More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
