drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
