I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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