I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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