I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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