I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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