So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smell my finger.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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