So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
