You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I am naked and annoyed.
A+ Viking dick
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
