Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
