tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
