you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
