remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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