Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
