Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Can I color on your dick again?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
