You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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