My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I bet he comes in French.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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