you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
