If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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