Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I have aggressive nipples.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
