can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
