there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
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You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
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While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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