bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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