You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize