You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
