Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
