As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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