dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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