The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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