i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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