Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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