how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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