so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
