I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
