Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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