How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
there was a trapeze. enough said
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
