he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
