we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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