I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
