when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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