My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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